Lifestyle, Mental Wellness, Personal Development
How to Become Emotionally Independent
Being independent is often thought of as the moment when you move out of your parent’s house and live on your own. However, there is another form of independence that is rarely talked about but is just as important: Emotional Independence.
According to MindBodyGreen, Emotional independence refers to the ability to navigate your feelings without depending on external validation or support. It involves maintaining a strong sense of self-worth and resilience, even when faced with challenges.
Having emotional independence means possessing the inner strength to manage difficult situations and regulate your emotional reactions without constantly seeking approval or reassurance from others.
Emotional independence refers to your capacity to rely on yourself emotionally and mentally. Being emotionally independent means you know your worth and refuse to settle for anything less.
Knowing your worth, abilities, values, and morals will allow you to stand your ground and not be easily persuaded by other opinions of you or cave when others pressure you to do something that goes against your beliefs.
In a world where external perceptions often shape your sense of self, cultivating emotional independence is essential for staying true to who you are and what you want in life. Being emotionally independent allows you to not be easily swayed by others’ opinions, beliefs, or desires to live a certain life to be accepted.
Being Emotionally Independent is the ability to be authentically you, which can bring happiness and satisfaction in your life. It is for this reason that Becoming Emotionally independent is necessary.
Below are 10 Pointers on How to Become Emotionally Independent.
1. You’re Not Defined by Others Views of You
One practical approach to cultivating emotional independence is detaching yourself from needing external validation. A good way to detach yourself from external validation is by recognizing that your worth is not determined by how others perceive you.
When you feel that someone has a misinterpreted or negative view of who you are as a person, let them. Stay focused on who you want to be as a person.
Start by recognizing that your worth is not determined by how others perceive you but by how you perceive yourself. When others label you as awkward, tell yourself you are unique! When others say that you are a screw-up, tell yourself you made a mistake, but you will learn from it.
Do not let others define who you are as a person based on their limited interactions with you! Nobody knows you better than you know yourself, and never let anyone convince you otherwise.
2. Develop a Healthy Way to Relieve Challenging Emotions
Another essential way to become emotionally independent is by developing healthy coping mechanisms when experiencing challenging feelings. This involves finding effective strategies to manage stress, anger, and other challenging emotions in a productive way that does not negatively disrupt your daily life.
How each person manages challenging emotions will be different. Some people find it soothing to go into the woods and scream to relieve stress, while others put on singing bowls and lie on the couch to relax. Some may want to come home and kick their feet up on the couch and watch TV, while others just want to get lost in a book. While others may find pampering themselves with manicures, haircuts and spa days to be relaxing.
Every individual is unique, and discovering what works best for you to handle challenging emotions effectively is essential for becoming a well-adjusted adult.
3. Be Kind to Yourself
Another way to become emotionally independent is by being kind to yourself. When you are kind to yourself, you speak positively about yourself to others, encourage yourself during difficult times, and forgive yourself for the mistakes you made.
Emotionally Independent is the ability to not need anyone else for validation. When you have yourself to lift you up and encourage you, then you really don’t need anyone else to do it for you!
Therefore, if not already, learn to be your number 1 supporter and own cheerleader and go easy on yourself when you find that you are in a difficult situation.
Below are a few points on being kind to yourself.
- Engage in Positive Self-Talk
- Forgive Yourself
- Encourage Yourself During Challenging Times
- Stand Up for Yourself
- Advocate for Yourself
- Think Highly of Yourself
By incorporating these tips into your daily life, you will be able to overcome challenges more easily, create a more positive image around you, and lift yourself up during challenging times with greater ease.
4. Maintain Healthy Boundaries
Another aspect of emotional independence is learning how to maintain healthy boundaries. Creating healthy boundaries allows you to distance yourself from individuals who negatively impact your mental well-being and overall success.
Boundaries allow you to create a safe and supportive environment. When surrounded by people who uplift and encourage you, it’s easier to feel secure and confident in who you are. On the other hand, spending time with toxic or harmful individuals can undermine your self-esteem and make it difficult to recognize your strengths.
Establishing boundaries gives you the ability to distance yourself from those who are hindering your mental health. This could mean saying no to invitations or requests that make you uncomfortable or distancing yourself from those who don’t support or uplift you.
While establishing boundaries can be difficult, it’s important to have when you sense that others are having a negative impact on your life. By setting limits with those who do not support your well-being, you prioritize your own needs and happiness.
5. Taking Responsibility for Your Behaviors
One of the most important pointers of emotional independence is taking responsibility for your behaviors that stem from emotions.
Taking responsibility is being able to assess the situation honestly and acknowledge areas that your behavior may need improvement. Acknowledging your behavior, you hold yourself responsible for your actions.
Furthermore, taking accountability allows you to honestly assess the situation and learn from your mistakes, thereby preventing it from happening again.
The reason taking responsibility is essential and has made it to our list of How to Become Emotionally Independent is that if you blame others for your behavior and avoid taking responsibility, then you are not learning from your mistakes. How can you change if you don’t understand what you are doing wrong? To change, you need to gain insights from your actions and recognize your role in what causes certain behaviors.
6. Practice Self-Care
Another pointer that made it onto our list of How to Become Emotionally Independent is to practice Self-Care.
Self-care encompasses taking care of your mental, emotional, social, and spiritual well-being. Self-care can involve spending the night at home to relax rather than going out with friends. Perhaps it is visiting the gym to take care of your physical health. Possibly going to church and reading the bible to take care of your spiritual well-being.
When you prioritize yourself and ensure that you are physically, mentally, and spiritually in a good place, it allows you to heal from whatever life throws your way.
7. Learning to be at Peace when Alone
Another aspect of learning how to become emotionally independent is learning to be at peace with yourself when you are alone.
Being alone is what you make it. You can either find the moments you spend alone to be scary or depressing, peaceful, or fun. It’s important to enjoy your own company when you are all alone.
Rather, you want to enjoy a nice book, put a puzzle together, or try something new in the kitchen. It is essential to learn how to feel comfortable being alone and enjoying your own company.
If you are feeling really daring, then go to a movie or dinner by yourself. Feeling comfortable being in public alone, with only yourself, allows you the freedom to live your life without judgment and restraints.
If you want to go to the movies and can’t find a friend to go with, then going by yourself allows you to see the movie without restraint. Want to dine at the fancy new restaurant, but your friends are busy? Take yourself out on a date, sit at a table, and order yourself your favorite item on the menu!
Learning to be happy and at peace while being alone allows you to become more independent and free! You are no longer being held back by the restraints of scheduling conflicts.
You can enjoy the evening alone by yourself, having the time of your life because you are all you need to have a good time.
8. Maintain a Positive Mindset
Another essential pointer on my list of How to Become Emotionally Independent is the ability to maintain a positive mindset.
A positive mindset is the ability to lift yourself up, even during difficult times, while a negative mindset will drag you down even in the good times.
It is essential to maintain a positive mindset so you can be happy and peaceful and enjoy your time on this earth.
Having a positive mindset requires the ability to recognize and transform negative thoughts as they arise into more positive, uplifting ones.
Furthermore, having a positive mindset allows you to see the good in people and believe that others perceive you in a positive light. Talked about earlier in this article was labeling.
One aspect of labeling that has not been previously mentioned is that you may label yourself based on how you believe others perceive you rather than how they actually perceive you.
For example, Sally views herself as annoying and believes that others view her the same way. Sally makes dinner plans with a friend who cancels at the last minute due to car trouble. Sally takes it that her friend must have been annoyed because she texted her too frequently about dinner and canceled, even though her friend had experienced car trouble. In reality, her friend loves Sally but has a flat tire and is unable to make it.
Therefore, if you believe that others are negatively labeling you, it may actually be you who is labeling yourself through your perception of how others view you. When in reality, others are viewing you in a positive light, but you are focused on negative clues to validate your belief.
Therefore, having a positive mindset and finding the good in people and situations tends to make it easier to believe that people see good in you. This is because you are training your brain to find the positive in situations, so you tend to look for them, including in the way others interact with you.
Believing that people think positively and highly about you allows you to build your self-confidence while creating a strong connection with others.
9. Comfortable Stepping Outside Your Boundaries
If you want to become emotionally independent, then get used to stepping outside your comfort zone. The most growth happens when you do something that is big, intimidating, and scary!
Want to start that new business? Start the business plan, do the research, and get the business licenses. Make it less scary with a roadmap, and celebrate the success along the way, especially the ones that seemed really scary and hard.
Sometimes, you will find that the thing that was most intimidating may actually not be that difficult once you do it!
Stepping outside your comfort zone will be scary, but you have to trust yourself to do it! When you have faith in your ability to tackle something significant, daunting, and difficult, it helps cultivate confidence within you. Each challenge you successfully navigate allows you to gain that much more confidence.
10. Detach from External Validation
The last pointer on our list of How to Become Emotionally Independent is the ability to detach from external validation.
If you find yourself working hard to impress others or make them proud of you, then you may be seeking external validation.
The problem with external validation is that, with some, regardless of how hard you try to impress and make others proud of your achievements, it is never enough. You have some people who will always tear down your accomplishments, regardless of how great your achievement may be, because of jealousy.
When you spend your life seeking the validation of others, you will find disappointment in those who lack interest, push for more, or criticize your progress and achievements in life. Furthermore, you may find that you lose motivation when you don’t receive the recognition you expect from those around you.
Therefore, it is imperative that you learn to find the validation you seek internally! For one, when you seek validation internally, then you are able to go after goals that give you purpose. It is the ability to truly live the life you want without being persuaded by those around you.
Another reason to learn to seek internal validation is that you will be proud of yourself. You will engage in activities, careers, and a lifestyle that makes you happy and proud. It’s the ability to look back on life and realize you had no regrets because you were truly authentic to who you were as a person, and the life you lived reflected that.
In conclusion, becoming emotionally independent is a vital journey toward understanding and embracing your true self. By detaching from external validation, developing healthy coping mechanisms, practicing self-kindness, and maintaining healthy boundaries, you empower yourself to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and confidence.
As you embark on this path, remember that the most profound validation comes from within, enabling you to live authentically and pursue the life you desire. Embrace the journey of self-discovery and growth, for it is the key to thriving in an ever-changing world.
About Author, Sara Elizabeth
Writer, Amora V Lifestyle
Sara is a writer for Amora V. Sara previously worked as a Marketing Manager and has her Master’s from Lindenwood University. Sara studies everything of interest, from psychology, recipes, finances, mental health, and travel, striving to find happiness and to live a good life.
When not learning, Sara loves all things outdoors, food, and hanging around great company. Furthermore, Sara loves spending time with family, whom she is blessed to have in her life.
Note from Author: I hope my articles bring you joy and peace, and that you enjoy them!
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